Step 4: Frame the Conflict More Positively

Framing the conflict as something both sides have an interest in resolving together is necessary so that an agreeable solution can be reached. There are a couple techniques for framing the conflict more positively.

Army commander discusses an advise and assist mission with his subordinate leaders

Ask helpful questions such as “why not?” or “what if?” so that the other party will reconsider his or her points. This will encourage the reframing of the other side’s argument. These questions are examples of open-ended questions designed to move the other side away from a defensive position.

Two sparring Soldiers

Deflect attacks and keep the conflict from escalating. Either ignore personal attacks or interpret those attacks as friendly, instead of dissolving the discussion into a heated argument. Interpreting an attack as friendly can be as simple as perceiving the attack as good advice and saying “that’s a good point!”